PRIVACY POLICY

- Your name (so I don't have to call you "hey you")

- Email address (for tickets, updates, and occasional dad jokes)

- Phone number (in case the venue burns down and I need to tell you the show moved)

- Payment info (processed securely, because I like getting paid, and you like not getting scammed)

- Which shows you attend (so I don't tell the same jokes twice)

- Your laugh reactions (helps me know what's funny and what needs work)

- Social media interactions (when you slide into my DMs, it's logged somewhere)

- Merch preferences (so I know which terrible puns to put on t-shirts)

- Processing your ticket purchases (because I can't let you in for free, my landlord wouldn't appreciate that)

- Sending show confirmations (so you don't show up on the wrong night)

- Managing refunds (if I lose my voice or something equally tragic)

- Handling merch orders (yes, those hoodies are coming, I promise)

- Letting you know about upcoming shows (before they sell out)

- Sharing new content (that I think is hilarious)

- Special offers (because who doesn't love a discount?)

- Newsletter updates (which I actually write myself, usually at 3 AM)

- Industry-standard encryption (fancy tech stuff that keeps hackers out)

- Secure payment processing (I never see your full credit card number)

- Limited access (only my most trusted team members can see your data)

- Regular security updates (because I'm responsible like that)

- Sell your data (I'm not that kind of comedian)

- Share your info with random third parties (unless legally required)

- Use your email for spam (I hate spam as much as you do)

- Store your data longer than necessary (I'm not a digital hoarder)

- Ask what data I have about you (spoiler: it's mostly ticket purchases)

- Update your information (in case you moved or something)

- Unsubscribe from emails (but you'll miss out on my best jokes)

- Request data deletion (if you want to pretend we never met)

- Remember your login (so you don't have to type it 800 times)

- Track what shows you're interested in (for better recommendations)

- Analyze website traffic (boring but necessary)

- Make your experience better (I promise they're working hard)

- I can see your public profile (just like everyone else can)

- Your comments are visible (obviously)

- Interactions are tracked (likes, shares, when you tag me in memes)

- DMs are private (what happens in the DMs, stays in the DMs)

- Payment processing is handled by secure third parties (I'm a comedian, not a bank)

- Transaction records are kept for tax purposes (blame the IRS)

- Refund information is stored securely (in case something goes wrong)

- Digital tickets are tracked (to prevent sharing... I see you trying)

- Laws change (because I follow rules sometimes)

- I add new features (like virtual high-fives)

- Someone smarter than me suggests improvements

- Email (if you haven't unsubscribed)

- Website notifications (those annoying pop-ups)

- Interpretive dance (just kidding, but wouldn't that be fun?)